Up or down?

A question as old as time itself… or at least as old as the flushable toilet. What should be the default position of the toilet seat? Up, or down?

Why can’t it be situational? You need it up, put it up. Want it down? Put it down. Both parties would share the responsibility. We could call it settled, and put a lid on it. Instead, we want whatever is easier for us.

Ladies need the seat down. Nothing could make them more flush with anger than accidentally forgetting the seat, and plunging their butt cheeks into that porcelain brew. It would be the man’s fault, because he didn’t put the seat back down.

Men don’t need the seat up. We do it as a courtesy, so that pee dribbles don’t get on the seat. We lift it to prevent this issue. If ladies didn’t get mad about this, it could be left down all the time. “But(t), what about a #2?”
Well, have you ever heard a guy say to another guy, “Hey man, what’s with leaving the seat up? What if I gotta take a dump?”
Yeah, neither have I.

Is it a matter of chivalry and respect? Should men do it to be nice?
Is it based on necessity? Should women do it because they need it down most often?

How can this small thing cause such a big splash?
Where do you stand (or sit) on this issue? Comment below and tell the world how it should be, and why.

This Little Piggy

You know the game right? Someone squishes your little foot nubs between their fingers, and with a wiggle, describe the random activities that this little piggy participated in. Going to the store and eating roast beef, you know, all the usual pig stuff.

I was playing this game with my son the other day. We made it through one foot, and then did the other one. You can’t just do one of them though, it has to be both. Apparently feet don’t handle jealousy well. Anyways, I always do this for him, and I thought it was time he repayed the favor, so I asked him to do mine.

I pulled off my socks and Ezra didn’t even hesitate. Although he didn’t have the whole bit memorized, he did go toe to toe, saying “piggy” and giving each a little handshake. (I’ve been told I possess freakishly long toes) When he got to the big one he finished with, “Wheeeeeee! Home.”

It was very touching and endearing, and the way he did it was so adorable. Definitely one of the moments that parents live for, the ones tjat remind you this job is worth every minute of it. He must of thought he hurt me though, mistaking my misty-eyedness for pain, because he then asked “What’s wrong?” Which of course was just even more cute.

Toddler Tough

My toddler is tough. And the funny thing is, right as I started this post, he must have somehow known. He came right up to me, pointing out his booboos. He couldn’t find the one on his cheek, so he asked “where’d it go?” in his I’m-combining-entire-sentences-into-one-word sort of way. I guided his finger to the scrape under his eye. He then showed me his knee, and told me about it. “Knee” and “uh oh” were his choice of words, because he couldn’t see that one under the band aid. Then he pointed back to his face again, “another one!” Nope, same one.

Mommy and I were coming back from getting ice cream with him, and he was running up and down along the bridge. He crashed at one point, coming down on his knees first, before faceplanting. Now, if I had done that, I would of been yelling and holding my face;  swearing at my stupidity and lack of basic motor skills. He on the other hand, just got right back up and started running, like nothing happened.

His invincibility isn’t just from the power of ice cream either. I remember when we took him to get shots, and he got a 3 for 1 special. He didn’t even flinch on the first two. The nurse prepped the last shot, warning us that it was the doozy,  a guaranteed tear jerker. I can vividly recall him getting stabbed, and then getting this really goofy, sad looking, frown. It was comical, seeing the look of broken trust on his face and the distraught it caused him. Other than that though, he never cried or wimpered.

Even spankings are pretty much ineffectual. Any crying is generally brought on because he is being punished, and is shocked we’re actually carrying it out.

He’s pretty much a super hero.
Unless he doesn’t get something he really wants. Then he’s still the biggest baby ever.

Writing Achievements: A Novel Idea

I love achievements. I enjoy being able to admire all my badges, symbols, points and trophies. There’s something immensely satisfying about seeing these icons, the way they flaunt and display all your hard work and dedication. I don’t care if it’s a star sticker next to my name for perfect attendance, a boy scout badge for helping the elderly, or an overwhelming stock of Trophies and Gamerpoints, I love Achievements.

Video games did help push these achievements into the spotlight for me though.  Gone were the days of dusty save files crowded on cramped memory cards. I now had an entire bulletin board posting my success, one pushpin at a time. It was all archived and showcased in one place.

Then, I thought about writing a novel. What achievements could I acquire for that? It’d be inspirational to see my writing status in a simliar fashion to my favored video games. I could strive for the greyed out icons, their conditions plainly visible; and the reward just as tangible.

The beginning would be all the easy stuff you got just for trying the game. “You Claimed the Title of (Writer)!” and “Thought of your First Character!” come to mind. First few hours gives mild nods to your progress. “Wrote 1 Chapter!” and “Started a Conflict!” spring up.

Once you get going you will always have those consistent Achievements for accumulating so much time spent with the project. “Completed 5 (10, 25, 50) Chapters!” and “10,000 (50,000; 100,000) Written Words” are obvious choices. Optional  Achievements will start to show up, ones not directly associated with completing the game. These could include:
“Wrote the Perfect Metaphor!”
“Successfully Executed Foreshadowing!”
“Used a Plot Twist!”
“Introduced a Conflict!”

Towards the end we would tie up loose ends on our Achievements, filling in anything we were missing. These might be “Completed a Major Character Arc!” or “The Hero Triumphed!” for a winning battle scene. You may be able to kill off a villian, “Evil Vanquished!” and fill in the final numbers for the completion Achievements.

Beating the game (novel) would always simultaneously award a few  Achievements. “You Wrote a Novel!” and “Check Off DRAFT 1!”

Of course, there is always postgame content, and just because you wrote a novel, it doesn’t mean you are done. You’ll need a few last Achievements to complete the list.
“Revised: Completed a Revision!”
“Create a Hype!”
“It’s in your Hands Now!” (Become Published)
“Owner of Renown!”
“Mastered Job Title: Author!”

Once you’ve perfected your game,  got the best weapons, beat the hardest bosses, and found all the secrets… well there’s always more games. There’s always more books to be written. Obtain old Achievements in new ways, or go for the new ones, it will never be completely the same.

What Achievements would you get for your writing? Let me know!

Never Been Kissed

My friends have learned to accept my awkward weirdness and eccentricity, but it went largely under appreciated by my fellow classmen in highschool. So as a result of my social ineptitude, I didn’t go to my Junior or Senior Prom.

Fast forward to the present.

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Multiple event promoters from our  area, led by T.J. Harris, host an adult prom. Music, dancing, drinks, spiffy suits and purdy dresses. All for the adult crowd. A redo for anyone and everyone who never got the chance.

It was all galaxy and space themed. Each stage was its own planet, with UFOs and aliens scattered throughout the venue. ET was spotted in his customary blanket covered basket. Even Buzz Lightyear and Superman made an appearance.

A lot of hard work and time went into this event, and it was great to see how it all came together. There was a great turnout, and not just from the younger crowd either, I saw quite a few older couples. It was amazing watching our city come together like that. I’ll be going to Prom every year if our community can pull it off.

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We’re All Animals

Mommy and I took our 2 year old son, Ezra, to the Pittsburgh Zoo.

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Last time we went he was pretty young, so we were hoping he’d be a lot more interested in them this time around.

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He recognized a bunch of them, and knew their sounds. He didn’t stay at any one animal for too long. He has the attention span of… well, a 2 year old.

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We still had lots of fun though, and I’m always amazed by how much he grows and learns.

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